Wisdom Teeth and A New Road

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Well I disappeared for a little while I know. My apologies. For those of you who have kept visiting my page and liking my statuses on facebook and twitter I greatly appreciate it.

I just had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted -not so much fun really, but it did afford me a teeny tiny break from my usual SAHM routine. I got to nap all day afterwards! Woohoo! Yea baby! lol I haven’t done that since I had that horrific stomach flu a few months ago-and that was no picnic. But this little surgery, that was kind of, well, nice. They knocked me out for the removal, and loaded me up with the necessary pain meds to manage once I got home. Honestly, stiffness and some slight swelling is all I have had to complain about post-op. I’m on the mend.

Meanwhile, all of my children are having some sort of evil sinus crud- thankfully no fevers though! Admittedly I am tired but we’re making it, and their cute little runny noses are slowly drying up. My husband has been on the road for over two weeks now and most likely won’t be home for another two at least. I really do appreciate him and all that he does but sometimes I just really wish I could take a break. No kids for a day you know. I love them so much, of course but I’m really wearing down here. Despite my father in law and cousins efforts to help when they can I really feel like I am just drowning in isolation, but this time alone has really given me a chance to reflect on a lot that I have been dealing with, for years now to be honest with you. I am not going to get in to a lot of it right now but I have decided to seek help from my doctor.

I’ve fought against anxiety, attention issues, and hyperactivity since I was a kid. These things have only gotten worse as I have gotten older and had children. I’m finding that I can no longer manage them on my own. I do need help, and after talking to my husband and my mother I am going outside of my comfort zone to talk to my doctor. It’s a start at least. I need to get to the bottom of these issues and learn how to manage them as an adult with children.

I am certain I do not have post partum depression but I know something isn’t right-it hasn’t been right since long before the kids were born. I have had serious reservations about speaking to an outside party-I’m so afraid that I’ll be judged, or labeled, or even scoffed at. I don’t want that but I know that it’s time to talk to someone. Something I probably should have done years ago.

Please bare with me on this new road. I’m not certain what lies ahead but I am positive about my direction. As I learn more about myself I hope that I can share it with all of you and perhaps even help some of those that have been experiencing similar issues.

Just a Touch of Courage Pt. 2

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I have had some ups and downs over the past week with my journey to a healthy and happy me! For the most part I can honestly say I feel like I did pretty good for the first week. How did the sugar detox go? Well…

Ha! It wasn’t that bad, but I definitely struggled more than I thought I would. I have discovered a great weakness for peanut butter pop tarts and soda. It’s pretty darn hard when you see that can of soda sitting there in the fridge…so cold…so sweet…ugh! Then, those peanut butter pop tarts taste like Reeses Pieces to me! Sigh. I wasn’t to terrible but I did slip a couple times. BUT I did drink a ton of water, which is something I have been terrible about in the past. Go me!

Also, I started Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred DVD. I have to say Day 1 and Day 2 really busted my butt. I ached pretty much everywhere. It gave me a small sense of pride and accomplishment. Even though I can’t see any major changes yet, it gave me a sort of noticeable evidence of my effort. It felt good-it was rough, but it felt good. I am finally doing something about my health issues. I did have two days where I didn’t complete the DVD. One of the days my husband was able to come home and we were spending quality time with the kids, and the other I was assaulted by a sinus infection and unfortunate lack of sleep from the night before, because kids had trouble sleeping.

Though I have had some setbacks during Week 1, I have refused to allow those things to get me down. I am making improvements. It is a work in progress after all. Already I have been feeling better and my energy levels have improved. I can only feel better from here!

I’ve noticed too that although the workout is difficult for me, it really does get easier each day. I’m taking the positive from last week with me on to Week 2! I’m going to give the detox another go, and I am thinking about adding another workout. I would really like to walk with the kids in the park, but that has some complications. The twins would be in the double stroller, which they really enjoy, and the baby would be in the carrier on my chest, which he enjoys but the last time I tried to walk the course, our daughter walked alongside me and stayed with me at first. Eventually though the test of wills began and she started to refuse to stay with me. Looking back I wish we had  chosen that triple stroller for our baby registry instead of the double. Oh well. I’m not sure about getting one now either. Before you know it she will be out of the stroller era anyway. We’ll see. Maybe I will give the walk another shot tomorrow and just see how it goes.

Wish me luck!

Just a Touch of Courage

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I have been having trouble with my energy levels lately, and have generally just been feeling kind of blah. Yes, I am super busy with the kids but I’ve noticed it has been so much more than that-and, I know why.

All of the junk I’ve been eating lately has really had a negative impact on my energy levels, and overall feelings of well-being-and my waistline, go figure. I touched on this a few posts ago, and have made some minor adjustments-like cutting out sodas-but, I think I need to be more aggressive if I want to see and feel some results. 

That being said, today I am going to give this sugar and caffeine detox thing a try. No sugar period, including artificial sweeteners. I am only going to drink water, and unsweetened decaffeinated coffee and teas.  I am feeling really good about this. I remember how great I felt after my first child was born and I completed the same detox. I want to feel like that again and I know what I have to do!

I’ve also stocked up on some healthy snacks and meal options including:

-almonds
-almond butter
-hummus
-celery
-baby carrots
-broccoli florets
-grapes
-oranges
-Greek yogurt
-chicken breast
-salmon
-eggs
-whole wheat bread
-whole wheat tortillas

I am terrible about skipping meals and just snacking on random junk throughout the day. I am determined to make myself eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner with healthy snacks in between. Determined.

Also, don’t make fun of me- but I am start-well truthfully re-starting Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred DVD today. The last time I think I barely completed 2 days. I want to be healthy though-for me and for my family. I am a little shy but I am considering posting a before pic along with this post to help me stay motivated and accountable. We’ll see by the time I finish this post lol.

Honestly I am kind of excited about this. I know I can do it, I’ve just never really put the effort in before. I know the kids will definitely enjoy this journey too-they find watching me jump around and do all of the exercises on the DVD hilarious. Hey, if they are happy, I am happy!

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Oh wow. I’ve never been brave enough to take a picture like that. I won’t even let my husband take pics at the beach! That’s over now. I am going to own my mom bod. And just focus on creating a healthy lifestyle and however that effects my body-we call see! Positive and happy all the way!

Tomorrow vs. Today

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Everyone has certain ideals they set for themselves-different achievements they’d like to reach.  I myself have battled with self-esteem since adolescence.  I want so badly to have confidence in myself-in who I am and what I do and, yes, how I look.

I’ve decided to make a conciencious decision to take active steps to love and be proud of myself.  If I don’t make the effort nothing will ever change.  It is past time to do something about how I feel.

I’ve already made steps to better my organization and productivity to improve other aspects of my life.  Now I look to my health.  No, I am not pleased with my body. Three pregnancies and four kids later I am mushy and jiggly all over.  That honestly doesn’t bother me that much.  I am so proud and blessed to have born four healthy children. I am, however, not proud that I haven’t been taking care of myself at all.  I’m not in shape by any means but I don’t eat right either. I’m not being hard on myself-some days I’ll eat a box of little debbies. Half of a family size bag of cheetos.  I don’t know why. It’s just there-I don’t even particularly like the foods I’ve been pigging out on.

I haven’t always been like this-but since my fourth child was born I’ve kind of been eating constantly-whether I’m hungry or not.  After I’ve eaten like that I feel terrible.  I recognize what I’ve been doing isn’t good for me and I want to change it.  That’s why I’m writing this. To maybe hold myself accountable. I’m officially on a journey to a happier healthier me-for me, but for my family too.

No more I’ll eat better tomorrow, I’ll take the kids to the park tomorrow.

Tomorrow isn’t acceptable. Today is the answer.